I was reading through chapter 4 of Tim Keller’s book, The Prodigal God, this morning and was struck by his description and illustration of an elder brother’s prayer life in light of a lack of assurance of the love and acceptance of his father. He writes:
Though elder brothers may be diligent in prayer, there is no wonder, awe, intimacy, or delight in their conversations with God. Think of three kinds of people–a business associate you don’t really like, a friend you enjoy doing things with, and someone you are in love with, and who is in love with you. Your conversations with the business associate will be quite goal oriented. You won’t be interested in chitchat. With your friend you may open your heart about some of the problems you are having. But with your lover you will sense a strong impulse to speak about what is beautiful about him or her. These three kinds of discourse are analogous to forms of prayer that have been called “petition,” “confession,” and “adoration.” The deeper the love relationship, the more the conversation heads towards the personal, and toward affirmation and praise. Elder brothers may be disciplined in observing regular times of prayer, but their prayers are almost wholly taken up with a recitation of needs and petitions, not spontaneous, joyful praise.
The elder brother seems lost to the heart of prayer, which is aimed not at asking God to give to us but in us giving ourselves to God…being “lost” in the power, beauty, wisdom and love of God. I wish that I could say that my prayer life always looks like that, but I find that it bears a striking resemblance to the elder brother-type, using prayer as a means to have my needs met. It seems quite one-sided and doesn’t do anything for deepening my love for God. If anything, it depersonalizes our relationship and I can only hope that Jackson and Anna Sloan don’t treat me that way as their father.
brett eubank | unfinished 